Monday, April 20, 2009
Lost soul

How do you try to change something that cannot be changed? How do you hide your disappoinment from others, because they are depending on you to be strong? How can you not feel sad, even though the results were crystal clear?

It has all eventually come to an end. To say I did not cry, did not feel upset, did not feel disappointment would be a big fat lie. Maybe we aren't ready, maybe we overdone it. However, it is over. Moving on is not an option. Though how can we really move on? I know the mature atitude would be to smile and move on, saying that SYF is JUST a competition and getting gold/silver/bronze is just a title and does not and will not stop us from singing, but, seriously, who am I F****** kiding? Of course, it is thus true that we should not let SYF deter us from who we really are, but no one can deny the heavy disappointment we all feel. It DOES matter. In the end, what we get DOES matter, to a certain extend because it changes how people sees us, how we feel, our standard. To get a gold means we have improved, and it will definitely make us feel good. The school would change its opinion on us. We will no longer be looked down upon.

The worst part is, how do you even face your peers, especially they are all so eager to know what the result is? How do you even answer them, without throwing a crying fit? How do you even focus on MYEs now. How do you even do the CD recording when everyone is so upset that, be it sub-consciously or consciously, no one is going to sing well? How do you even handle the truth, the truth that hurts so very much?


I will get over this. WE will get over this. It is only the matter of time.







The question is, how long does it take for the wound to heal? Even so, there will always be a scar(just like the ones on my back and heart)